cooking in the oven.....due on Thanksgiving Day

So I realized tonight that I haven't blogged about baby number two yet! I felt a little guilty not having a whole post dedicated to this baby considering this whole blog was created to keep everyone updated on my pregnancy with Parker. I guess the least I could do for number two was make one post about this pregnancy lol! We are super excited to be pregnant and after suffering a loss in Dec, it makes it even more special. I have been feeling well, just SUPER exhausted but I'm not sure if that's from the pregnancy or just life as a single mom dealing with a very energetic two yr old whom I am trying to potty train. I look back at my pregnancy with Parker and think it's so funny that I just felt SO exhausted while being pregnant with him lol. Oh I really had no idea what exhausted felt like until now;) I actually am struggling to keep my eyes open right now tee hee. I feel like my belly is literally tripling in size every week, I'm getting a little worried, I think it's safe to say I'm going to have a big ole belly yet again. I was hoping maybe to carry a little smaller this time around but I am coming to terms with the fact that, that was just a hope and not a reality lol! I have an ultrasound next week to check on the lil turkey I will only be 15 weeks we may or may not be able to determine the sex, they usually won't say anything unless they are pretty confident and 15 weeks may be just a little too early to be really confident. So needless to say I'm not holding my breath. I posted a few new pics from this week I am 14 weeks and 3 days, and anxious to meet this baby!!!!!!!!!

There is no "I" in team.........

This particular Sunday morning was bittersweet for me. I LOVE going to church and always feel so rejuvenated after leaving, but on this Sunday morning my other half was missing, and it was the first Sunday I would be sitting in the pew without him next to me. I know after a few Sundays it will feel more "normal," for lack of a better word but the first is always the hardest. Anyways after church there was a potluck which normally I would have stayed for but today I just wasn't feeling up to dealing with Parker by myself. I have a VERY energetic 2 yr old to say the least so attempting to stand in line and get food while he stands next to me is something I would only dream about, ha ha ha. Parker would be running around EVERYWHERE and I would be chasing him plate in hand;) I'm not quite in the "single" mom mode yet so this task felt much to great to take on today. So this really got me thinking on the drive home how much Michael and I have become a team. Obviously staying for the potluck would have most definitely happened if Michael were here because as always he would sit with Parker at the table as I got food for Parker and I, then we would switch, no big deal. I started to think of how much our lives have changed since becoming parents. As crazy as it sounds sometimes your loved one leaving can be a blessing, it gives you time to reflect on just how much they play a crucial role in your life and how you truly couldn't live without him/her. I know how much I love Michael and I don't need affirmation in the form of a deployment, BUT sometimes I do feel like we are parents and JUST parents, so it's nice to have time to reflect on how strong our marriage really is. If you are a parent you know your kids take up pretty much ALL of your time. I realized today our marriage since Parker hasn't necessarily changed it's just different. Three years ago if Michael and I were walking in a park we would probably be hand in hand having a conversation, now if you saw us today we would most likely be chasing a 2 yr old and our only conversation would be with Parker asking him to listen to us lol. He is my other half, and no we don't cuddle and fall asleep in each other's arms like we use to because now we are utterly exhausted at the end of the day and ready to fall asleep the minute our heads hit the pillow, but now sleeping alone without him next to me makes me realize that just having him beside me makes me feel so comforted, safe, and loved. We are a team and without him I just don't feel complete. I will manage and I will manage with a smile on my face, but deep down I won't feel complete until he is home again. I am comforted with this feeling because I truly believe that is what God intended marriage to look and feel like.......

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

well the wait is over:(

So as most of you know our family of three is now a family of two at least for the time being. It's never easy saying goodbye and honestly we wanted it to be as quick and painless as possible so I dropped him off we kissed he loved on Parker and off we went. We didn't hang around to see him leave just too difficult, honestly Michael vetoed it, seeing as it would only make the goodbye that much harder for all of us. We had our "moment" at home when Parker woke up from his nap Michael went upstairs to get him up and ready to leave and I knew he was struggling, as you can imagine the thought of going months on end without being able to even touch your child would have to be a little overwhelming. I can't imagine the guilt he feels as a father and husband leaving his family, I can only hope my words, unconditional love, and support reassure him enough to make him understand I and his children are and will always be proud of him. So as if it wasn't enough that he is leaving on the car ride to drop him off I look down at my arm to see a mark that resembles a bullseye. Uh Oh naturally I freak out because earlier that day we had taken Parker to the creek and walked around the woods for a bit. So when we pulled up to say our goodbyes a medic came up to look at my arm and informed me that I needed to have it looked at he was concerned it could be the start of Lymes disease, WHAT? If you know me you know I am a Negative Nancy, I think the worst, bad trait I know. I barely could focus on saying goodbye to my husband as now I think I have something that could potentially be harmful to my unborn child, who cares about me, so a mommy thing huh? I went straight to my Ob clinic which is located in the hospital and they honestly had no idea what to do with me. They made a few phone calls and decided to test my blood those results will be back Monday. In the meantime after speaking with an "environmental disease specialist" and sending a picture of my arm to him he felt I needed to go ahead and start treatment as a precautionary measure. I guess when treated it rarely poses a threat to the unborn fetus, if not treated it can be potentially fatal. They did do an ultrasound and listened to the heartbeat it was at 165 bpm and the baby was a little wiggle worm! So that was comforting. I am now on an antibiotic three times a day for 14 days. What is even crazier is that when I called my mother to tell her what was going on she informed me that she has been pretty sick and would be seeing a doctor the next day to test for Lymes disease after finding a few ticks on her from walking in the wooded areas on some land my father recently purchased. What are the odds? So needless to say I have felt a little overwhelmed and I am utterly EXHAUSTED. I pray that if I do have Lymes disease that our baby is safe and is born healthy. I have done a good job not looking anything up tonight, last night, however, was a different story I was up until 1 am researching pregnancy and Lymes disease not a good idea. I really hope things slow down now. Please keep me and the baby in your prayers I really do feel like everything will be ok, which is saying a lot because as I stated before my mind goes to the worse possible scenario. So the question of the day is......Why do things fall apart the MINUTE they leave?????

*Posted some pics of our last day with daddy....

Hurry Up and Wait.......this is not a fun game

Well we are officially in the waiting period to see when Michael will deploy. The date has moved three times now and I have a funny suspicion it will move yet again. So during this "wait" period I am trying not to let my emotions get the best of me and just enjoy the extra days with my husband. It's funny because you would think it's a wonderful thing to get added time and while it really is, it also can make things harder. You try to somewhat prepare yourself for a deployment and get in the "single mom" mindset but it seems every time you start to do this and semi come to terms of dealing with the "loss" of your husband/father for the next nine months, you have to start all over again when days are added to his time at home. As stated before don't get me wrong I feel blessed to have the extra time but I'm ready to get this started. The anticipation leading up to a deployment is WAY worse than the actually deployment. Every military wife knows the beginning and the end are ALWAYS the hardest. We have started to talk to Parker a little bit about where daddy is going and what he will be doing. We want him to at least give him the opportunity to understand that daddy is going away for a long time but he will be back. And although he may not understand we feel better knowing that we have at least started the process of talking to our child about what his daddy does. And to our surprise he does somewhat understand. Our friend Katie so graciously watched Parker a few nights ago so we could have a date night and to my surprise she said Parker had told her his daddy was going bye bye. Now I am not saying he understands why but at least he has grasped the concept that daddy is leaving. So bittersweet. It already breaks my heart to think he associates daddy's truck in the driveway with daddy being home, and well that truck will be sitting there for nine months with no daddy to step out of it. Deployments hurt there is no way around it but I have, I am, and I will always be proud to serve this country by standing behind my man;) Although I can't disclose the exact date of his "expected" departure for safety reasons, I can keep you updated after he is already gone so that I will do. I hope you enjoy the pictures of our last days with daddy before he leaves!

Where does the time go?????

It never fails I try to be better about posting and then I look up and it has been months since my last post. Like my title of this blog says seriously where does the time go? Well since my last post daddy has come home from his deployment and life couldn't be better. All of the pieces that were missing, now fit perfectly together to make this beautiful thing called "family!" It truly feels like our family is complete with him home. We are so not looking forward to the next deployment which isn't too far away, but let's not talk about that yet;) It took a couple of weeks for Parker to really warm up to Michael but now it's as though the never left. Michael is honestly such a wonderful father any chance he can get to take Parker out and explore and do "guy" things he jumps on it. When it was warm it seemed like every weekend they would go to the river together and of course Parker loved it but I think Michael enjoyed it just as much if not more. The chance to bond with his son meant so much to him. He is such a hands on father and I am so appreciative of all that he does for me and his son! So as you can imagine with all of this male bonding time Parker is back to waiting at the front door when he sees daddy's car pull in the driveway after work, and he usually is jumping up and down so anxious to begin their nightly routine of wrestling, tackling, fort building (with my couch cushions) and just being roudy boys;) I guess I am not sufficient enough at this "wrestling" thing, because he has no desire to wrestle with me. It truly is amazing to see how much Parker is really starting to understand things. For example the other night we were having an all family wrestling moment, where daddy would pretend to sleep and Parker and I would count to three and tickle him well we were worn out and I got up to start dinner when I hear little fake snores coming from the floor we turn to see Parker pretending to sleep, snores and all peeking through one eye anxiously awaiting the tickle torture;) We thought it was so cool! I also am proud to see we have officially somewhat started to show interest in potty training well maybe not potty training but at least discomfort with a nasty diaper, where as before he could care less;) I was cooking the other day and he came into the kitchen shook my pant leg and said "mommy poop yuck" ha ha ha! I have never been so excited for my child to poop his pants! Like I said it's a start and we will take it considering we have heard little boys are harder to potty train, I can tell you right now it's not going to be an easy process with Mr.Parker, getting him to sit at all is hard let alone sit on a potty until he goes to the bathroom ughhh the horror ha ha ha! As always here is a smorgasbord of pictures! Well hopefully I will post before Christmas if not have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New YEAR!!!!

"The first of Many"

I have decided to reflect on the past eight months and after a friends message to me with these words "The face you have given to sacrifice is something that many people need. The current conflicts have not required sacrifice that many
previous wars did, and as a result Americans are less emotionally
involved. The way you talk about your struggles and joys allows some of
us to find personal emotional attachment to all the news stories." I decided that I wouldn't just reflect in my journal tonight but here on our blog for everyone to read. When Michael first left I questioned my ability to raise Parker alone that was my biggest fear was being a "single" parent when all I had known was having the love and support of another parent in the house. It was something that absolutely scared me to death. Little did I know the one thing I was most scared about would be the ONE thing that kept me going. I can't lay in bed and have a bad day I have a little boy with the most beautiful hazel eyes and eyelashes that go on for days yelling "mama" every morning anxiously awaiting my footsteps coming up the stairs to snatch him up and love on him as if we have been apart for years. On days when I did not get a phone call and had expected one yet again I had a crazy little toddler to take away my worries and fears of why that phone call didn't come. I did very well with very little tears shed for the first few months. Until one day driving down the road coming home from the gym I don't know what happened but I burst in to tears literally so hard that I had to pull the car over to catch my breath. There was no song on the radio that made me sad, there was no thought in my head that caused these tears but this amazing little boy in the back seat that had grown so much since his daddy left that made me realize just how much my husband, his father, my best friend was missing out on. And how much I had missed being able to lay in bed with him at night and talk about how amazing our son is. I continued to cry for a long time, I cried over all the things Michael will miss out on and how much it will always be present that no matter how great of an event something is/was it won't be as good as it could have been because daddy wasn't there. The realization that we can never get this time back as a family and Parker will never be this age again for Michael to see was almost to much to bear. I had been sad for myself and sad for Parker at our loss of not having daddy around but I had yet to really think about how much my husband must hurt. Don't worry as I was crying I quickly grabbed my purse and pulled out a sucker for Parker, when all goes wrong suckers make it ALL better. So as he sucked on his sucker and I cried until my heart felt a little better. I picked up the pieces and told myself out loud " you had a good cry now get it back together and move on." And that is exactly what I did. I most definitely have my good and bad days but I try never to let it affect the way I raise Parker, I don't want him to look at this life as negative I want him to be proud of what his father does and in order to be that I must ensure that he has the best possible life that he can have even when his father is away. Something I have always prayed for is patience and I think God answered my prayers in the form of a deployment and a very active child. The struggles I have endured during this deployment have made me into a better person. I feel better and stronger than I have ever felt. It is somewhat of an empowering feeling to know you can handle all of it on your own, don't get me wrong I would take having my husband here WAY over empowerment;) Never have I felt more connected to my heavenly Father than now. He has carried me through this and given me opportunities to keep myself grounded and my spirits high. I know my future holds many more deployments but I also know that I can and will survive each and every one of them and hopefully better myself, my family, my faith, and my marriage through it all. I have missed my husband more than I thought possible so much at times it truly did hurt but my love for him has only deepened. I can't even begin to thank you for the prayers, the messages, and the emails sending your love, gratitude, and support. Just knowing that people appreciate the sacrifices that I, my husband, and my son are making makes it feel so worth it. So once again thank you for keeping my spirits high and continue to pray for Michael's safe return!!! Cheers to my first deployment;)

Sorry it has been soooo long

Sorry it has been so long since my last post I promise not to go so long between posts next time;) I am posting a whole bunch of pics from the last few weeks. Many are from July 4th when we were in Kansas City! We had such a great time as always. We went to Dinosaur Cafe (think that is what its called) Parker loved it! I also had to post pics of my cupcakes I made on the fourth they turned out really cute and tasted sooo good;) We really haven't been up to too much other than trying to get ready for daddy to come home. Right now it seems to be consuming my thoughts ha ha ha as I am sure you can imagine. I am really sad because we have done some fun things in the last couple of weeks but I couldn't find my battery charger for my camera so I didn't catch any of it:( Luckily I finally found it just in time for daddy to come home, do NOT want to miss getting pictures of that. So it really is official our baby is truly not a baby anymore. With everyday that passes he gets more independent and learns something new which its usually a new word! Parker is really starting to talk, it cracks me up because he will try and say anything you ask him to, and sometimes well most often it comes out sounding hilarious! Yes I am that mom that asks him to say things like "watermelon" and "cantaloupe." Oh it is just too funny! So in the last two days he has just started to take off with his talking. He walked into his toy room and went running to Elmo and said "Melmo" apparently he really has listened to me all those times I was referring to his Elmo doll and then my neighbor has watched Parker for me a couple of times, she was outside today when "we" (Parker with his bubble lawn mower) were mowing the lawn and he yells out "Hey Kim" ha ha ha! Cracks me up. He is really learning how to string words together to form sentences it's so amazing to see it all click. His favorite thing to say right now is "stop it" wonder where he learned that;) My friend brought her new baby girl over and when she started to cry Parker walked over with his finger pointed at her and told her to "stop it." Oh dear;) We have known all along that he wouldn't stop talking once he started and I am really starting to realize that I am probably going to want to pull my hair out when he is actually able to say everything that he wants too. Between him and Michael I will never get a word in! Well hopefully in the next week or so I will be blogging about daddy coming home and posting pics from his homecoming. Please pray for his safe return, and if you want to throw in a sooner than later return that would be great too;)