This particular Sunday morning was bittersweet for me. I LOVE going to church and always feel so rejuvenated after leaving, but on this Sunday morning my other half was missing, and it was the first Sunday I would be sitting in the pew without him next to me. I know after a few Sundays it will feel more "normal," for lack of a better word but the first is always the hardest. Anyways after church there was a potluck which normally I would have stayed for but today I just wasn't feeling up to dealing with Parker by myself. I have a VERY energetic 2 yr old to say the least so attempting to stand in line and get food while he stands next to me is something I would only dream about, ha ha ha. Parker would be running around EVERYWHERE and I would be chasing him plate in hand;) I'm not quite in the "single" mom mode yet so this task felt much to great to take on today. So this really got me thinking on the drive home how much Michael and I have become a team. Obviously staying for the potluck would have most definitely happened if Michael were here because as always he would sit with Parker at the table as I got food for Parker and I, then we would switch, no big deal. I started to think of how much our lives have changed since becoming parents. As crazy as it sounds sometimes your loved one leaving can be a blessing, it gives you time to reflect on just how much they play a crucial role in your life and how you truly couldn't live without him/her. I know how much I love Michael and I don't need affirmation in the form of a deployment, BUT sometimes I do feel like we are parents and JUST parents, so it's nice to have time to reflect on how strong our marriage really is. If you are a parent you know your kids take up pretty much ALL of your time. I realized today our marriage since Parker hasn't necessarily changed it's just different. Three years ago if Michael and I were walking in a park we would probably be hand in hand having a conversation, now if you saw us today we would most likely be chasing a 2 yr old and our only conversation would be with Parker asking him to listen to us lol. He is my other half, and no we don't cuddle and fall asleep in each other's arms like we use to because now we are utterly exhausted at the end of the day and ready to fall asleep the minute our heads hit the pillow, but now sleeping alone without him next to me makes me realize that just having him beside me makes me feel so comforted, safe, and loved. We are a team and without him I just don't feel complete. I will manage and I will manage with a smile on my face, but deep down I won't feel complete until he is home again. I am comforted with this feeling because I truly believe that is what God intended marriage to look and feel like.......
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24
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