cooking in the oven.....due on Thanksgiving Day

So I realized tonight that I haven't blogged about baby number two yet! I felt a little guilty not having a whole post dedicated to this baby considering this whole blog was created to keep everyone updated on my pregnancy with Parker. I guess the least I could do for number two was make one post about this pregnancy lol! We are super excited to be pregnant and after suffering a loss in Dec, it makes it even more special. I have been feeling well, just SUPER exhausted but I'm not sure if that's from the pregnancy or just life as a single mom dealing with a very energetic two yr old whom I am trying to potty train. I look back at my pregnancy with Parker and think it's so funny that I just felt SO exhausted while being pregnant with him lol. Oh I really had no idea what exhausted felt like until now;) I actually am struggling to keep my eyes open right now tee hee. I feel like my belly is literally tripling in size every week, I'm getting a little worried, I think it's safe to say I'm going to have a big ole belly yet again. I was hoping maybe to carry a little smaller this time around but I am coming to terms with the fact that, that was just a hope and not a reality lol! I have an ultrasound next week to check on the lil turkey I will only be 15 weeks we may or may not be able to determine the sex, they usually won't say anything unless they are pretty confident and 15 weeks may be just a little too early to be really confident. So needless to say I'm not holding my breath. I posted a few new pics from this week I am 14 weeks and 3 days, and anxious to meet this baby!!!!!!!!!

There is no "I" in team.........

This particular Sunday morning was bittersweet for me. I LOVE going to church and always feel so rejuvenated after leaving, but on this Sunday morning my other half was missing, and it was the first Sunday I would be sitting in the pew without him next to me. I know after a few Sundays it will feel more "normal," for lack of a better word but the first is always the hardest. Anyways after church there was a potluck which normally I would have stayed for but today I just wasn't feeling up to dealing with Parker by myself. I have a VERY energetic 2 yr old to say the least so attempting to stand in line and get food while he stands next to me is something I would only dream about, ha ha ha. Parker would be running around EVERYWHERE and I would be chasing him plate in hand;) I'm not quite in the "single" mom mode yet so this task felt much to great to take on today. So this really got me thinking on the drive home how much Michael and I have become a team. Obviously staying for the potluck would have most definitely happened if Michael were here because as always he would sit with Parker at the table as I got food for Parker and I, then we would switch, no big deal. I started to think of how much our lives have changed since becoming parents. As crazy as it sounds sometimes your loved one leaving can be a blessing, it gives you time to reflect on just how much they play a crucial role in your life and how you truly couldn't live without him/her. I know how much I love Michael and I don't need affirmation in the form of a deployment, BUT sometimes I do feel like we are parents and JUST parents, so it's nice to have time to reflect on how strong our marriage really is. If you are a parent you know your kids take up pretty much ALL of your time. I realized today our marriage since Parker hasn't necessarily changed it's just different. Three years ago if Michael and I were walking in a park we would probably be hand in hand having a conversation, now if you saw us today we would most likely be chasing a 2 yr old and our only conversation would be with Parker asking him to listen to us lol. He is my other half, and no we don't cuddle and fall asleep in each other's arms like we use to because now we are utterly exhausted at the end of the day and ready to fall asleep the minute our heads hit the pillow, but now sleeping alone without him next to me makes me realize that just having him beside me makes me feel so comforted, safe, and loved. We are a team and without him I just don't feel complete. I will manage and I will manage with a smile on my face, but deep down I won't feel complete until he is home again. I am comforted with this feeling because I truly believe that is what God intended marriage to look and feel like.......

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

well the wait is over:(

So as most of you know our family of three is now a family of two at least for the time being. It's never easy saying goodbye and honestly we wanted it to be as quick and painless as possible so I dropped him off we kissed he loved on Parker and off we went. We didn't hang around to see him leave just too difficult, honestly Michael vetoed it, seeing as it would only make the goodbye that much harder for all of us. We had our "moment" at home when Parker woke up from his nap Michael went upstairs to get him up and ready to leave and I knew he was struggling, as you can imagine the thought of going months on end without being able to even touch your child would have to be a little overwhelming. I can't imagine the guilt he feels as a father and husband leaving his family, I can only hope my words, unconditional love, and support reassure him enough to make him understand I and his children are and will always be proud of him. So as if it wasn't enough that he is leaving on the car ride to drop him off I look down at my arm to see a mark that resembles a bullseye. Uh Oh naturally I freak out because earlier that day we had taken Parker to the creek and walked around the woods for a bit. So when we pulled up to say our goodbyes a medic came up to look at my arm and informed me that I needed to have it looked at he was concerned it could be the start of Lymes disease, WHAT? If you know me you know I am a Negative Nancy, I think the worst, bad trait I know. I barely could focus on saying goodbye to my husband as now I think I have something that could potentially be harmful to my unborn child, who cares about me, so a mommy thing huh? I went straight to my Ob clinic which is located in the hospital and they honestly had no idea what to do with me. They made a few phone calls and decided to test my blood those results will be back Monday. In the meantime after speaking with an "environmental disease specialist" and sending a picture of my arm to him he felt I needed to go ahead and start treatment as a precautionary measure. I guess when treated it rarely poses a threat to the unborn fetus, if not treated it can be potentially fatal. They did do an ultrasound and listened to the heartbeat it was at 165 bpm and the baby was a little wiggle worm! So that was comforting. I am now on an antibiotic three times a day for 14 days. What is even crazier is that when I called my mother to tell her what was going on she informed me that she has been pretty sick and would be seeing a doctor the next day to test for Lymes disease after finding a few ticks on her from walking in the wooded areas on some land my father recently purchased. What are the odds? So needless to say I have felt a little overwhelmed and I am utterly EXHAUSTED. I pray that if I do have Lymes disease that our baby is safe and is born healthy. I have done a good job not looking anything up tonight, last night, however, was a different story I was up until 1 am researching pregnancy and Lymes disease not a good idea. I really hope things slow down now. Please keep me and the baby in your prayers I really do feel like everything will be ok, which is saying a lot because as I stated before my mind goes to the worse possible scenario. So the question of the day is......Why do things fall apart the MINUTE they leave?????

*Posted some pics of our last day with daddy....

Hurry Up and Wait.......this is not a fun game

Well we are officially in the waiting period to see when Michael will deploy. The date has moved three times now and I have a funny suspicion it will move yet again. So during this "wait" period I am trying not to let my emotions get the best of me and just enjoy the extra days with my husband. It's funny because you would think it's a wonderful thing to get added time and while it really is, it also can make things harder. You try to somewhat prepare yourself for a deployment and get in the "single mom" mindset but it seems every time you start to do this and semi come to terms of dealing with the "loss" of your husband/father for the next nine months, you have to start all over again when days are added to his time at home. As stated before don't get me wrong I feel blessed to have the extra time but I'm ready to get this started. The anticipation leading up to a deployment is WAY worse than the actually deployment. Every military wife knows the beginning and the end are ALWAYS the hardest. We have started to talk to Parker a little bit about where daddy is going and what he will be doing. We want him to at least give him the opportunity to understand that daddy is going away for a long time but he will be back. And although he may not understand we feel better knowing that we have at least started the process of talking to our child about what his daddy does. And to our surprise he does somewhat understand. Our friend Katie so graciously watched Parker a few nights ago so we could have a date night and to my surprise she said Parker had told her his daddy was going bye bye. Now I am not saying he understands why but at least he has grasped the concept that daddy is leaving. So bittersweet. It already breaks my heart to think he associates daddy's truck in the driveway with daddy being home, and well that truck will be sitting there for nine months with no daddy to step out of it. Deployments hurt there is no way around it but I have, I am, and I will always be proud to serve this country by standing behind my man;) Although I can't disclose the exact date of his "expected" departure for safety reasons, I can keep you updated after he is already gone so that I will do. I hope you enjoy the pictures of our last days with daddy before he leaves!